Well here I am again. I deleted all of my old posts because I wanted to start fresh with everything. It's my senior year of college and I want to be a different person. Someone new and better than what I have been. Nothing is guaranteed in life and I want to live my life to the fullest, not for myself mind you, but for God and the plans He has for me. There are times when I completely freak out about the future but then I remember that He is here with me. I feel at peace with God finally and I have not felt this way in a long time. It started at the end of last semester. I was just thinking about what I wanted to do after graduate and all the things that I wanted to do and the kind of person I was. There are certain parts of my life that I do not really like. I'm not always the most patient and tend to let people walk all over me. I have not been the best child of God either. I have not loved him like I should have. While I was thinking about this, I just got this feeling like when a father hugs his child. I felt like God was telling me that it's okay about what I have done and who I use to be because He loves me no matter what.
It was complete and utter joy! He is there and has always been there for me! I do not know my future. Yes, I have hopes and dreams. I want to do something I love doing. I want to marry and have my own children running around me and being able to see my grandkids one day. I want to keep the friendships I have now. I want to please God though the most and He will take me on the right path. He knows what will happen to me! He is there, along the way guiding me, letting me know that no matter what, He is there with me.
A lot of times at church during worship, I feel so connected to God. I want to sing at the top of my lungs and dance for joy because of Him! There are certain times when an overwhelming about peace comes over and I feel like no evil presence can enter into our hearts because the soldiers of God are guarding us so we can completely glorify Him! That might seem like a strange concept to some people but those are the moments that I love about going to church. I can feel Him all around me, keeping me safe.
Recently I have started doing a devotional by Max Lucado called Grace. It is a collection of his works and he has a morning devotional and a night one to do each day. I'll be honest and say that in the past I have been horrible about my devotionals because I simply get lazy and forget. But this makes me want to see what Max has come up with. It always applies to me in one way or another. For instance, this morning was called, "God Make Us Right Again" and the verse that went along with it was "Create in me a pure heart, God, and make my spirit right again" (Psalm 51:10). I feel like this needs to be a daily verse to say. No matter how "good" you are in a day, there is always that thought or some little sin that came up that caused you to displease God. We are imperfect but God still LOVES us! We need to make our souls clean again so that He can gaze upon us and have a relationship with us. It is simply AMAZING how God works. He choose me! He made me! I'm just a girl who does not always think the best about myself, who sins, and turns away from God time and time again, someone who does not lead a Christ-like life but He still LOVES me! I cannot believe this! How could such an awesome, wonderful, loving Father pick me up and simply say, "Emily, I love you so much that I will do everything to get to know you more." He is my everything and I love having Him with me.
High Point of the Day: A simple, "Emily, ur pretty" picture text from Jordan. :)
Low Point of the Day: My arm hurts from writing and typing for 6 hours at my internship.
Craving I have: Green Apple lollipops. Yummy!
